03 October 2012

Me, looking all serious and whatnot.

earrings: ASOS
scarf: secondhand
hoodie: Uniqlo

Because the fun just never ends. Just when you think things are calming down, you walk into a s*** storm...a better description would be that the storm walks into you. Things, I thought, were wonderful today. It was a calm, happy day spent with Fred, who's feeling so much better and about to start physical rehab, and stepsister #3 (one I have not yet mentioned, the only one who has been nice to me). But within a second of stepsisters #1 and 2 arriving, everything just went to s***.  First, S#3 and I were kicked out of the room and into the hallway so S#1 could bitch Fred out. Why? Because he changed his will. I have no idea what he did but next thing I know, stepsister #2 arrives and is giving me one of the worst looks I've ever seen. She claimed that today was a waste of today for everyone, and that she was livid. That "it all goes back to what [I] said to [her] in the beginning," which was 1. I would appreciate really important updates and not be left out of the loop (as in not find out that stepdad had a stroke...from the stepdad who just had the stroke!), 2. Please stop making me feel like I am hurting him (they blamed his early difficulty swallowing on the cranberry juice I ordered, which I ordered to help with the UTI he had developed as a result of his heart valve and disc infections- this is after reading articles and asking 2 nurses if it would help), and 3. To please not push me around, ignore me, or treat me like I'm less than family just because I am the daughter of an insane person. She goes "You planted the seed, now watch it grow." WTF? I have no clue what is going on, didn't want to ask, because she said "One wrong word and I will deck someone in the face." So we went back into the room while the nurse did some tests on Fred. They all just sat together in their own little clique. It was just really sad because, the second S#1-2 come over, S#3 goes to them as if to stay off their bad side...and because I thought S#2 and I had reached an ok place. She even talked Monday about taking me down to Findlay Market to hang out, and I was actually looking forward to getting to know her in a different context. What a waste of energy. They were all whispering about calling my mom to come over and stuff. They didn't say it like "We'll call Lucie," they said "We'll call her mom...." That's what they do, whisper when I am in the room -as if I can't hear. May I remind you that these are 40-50 year olds. I left as they were setting up the table to talk. It must have been a change they really did not like. It's just so irritating- all these people claiming to be there for him, going on and on about his wishes being all that matters, but then getting angry that he had changed his will. If money is not what they're after, then why should they even care what he does? They call me "fake" for not being an open book...well, I think we both know what happens when I express any sort of feeling around them (= I get either yelled at or completely ignored). I could say exactly as I feel, but I'd rather them not know anything about me. They claim not to be fake, and yet..they wait till we're outside his room, or when nurses aren't around, to treat me bad. I'm tired of being their punching bag when my mom says or does something that pisses them off. They keep treating me like I'm to blame, just because she has been nice to me lately, like it is my responsibility to keep her on a leash. Lord knows I've tried/been trying, but she just does/says what she wants. That's how it's always been. She acts fine when I am in the room, but then I come in the next day only to hear about (and pay for) the awful things she did/said. All I can say is that this is stupid, and it's a shame that Fred is surrounded by such people. I hope he sees their true colors soon.

Anyway, sorry for talking so much about this. Hey, at least it sort of applied to my facial expression!


  1. oh man, sounds so awful, Camille! I am not sure what to say other than that I'll pray that things start to get better.

    1. thanks. today wasn't so bad. s#1 asked in this weird, roundabout way about my mom and i being on speaking terms. i explained the situation, politely. lame that she couldn't just be straight or genuinely nice about it, but at least she has some sort of clue, and will hopefully cut the attitude. i doubt it but you never know.